The Bachelor Mysteries: Free Chapter from Book 2

Production continues for my sequel book, and I’m pleased with the progress of my editing process.
I’ve previously released Chapter 5: Grandfathers and now I’m announcing the pre-release of Chapter 7.
I am looking for a kick-ass cover artist and hope to reveal my cover soon after I select the art.
But, it’s been a couple of months, and I’ve decided to whet the whistles of my readers and pre-release another chapter.

This is chapter seven from Maiden of Maidens, titled “The Bachelor Mysteries.”
In this chapter, Arthur has traveled out to the countryside, hunting for Stymphalian Birds, only to be kidnapped by Hermes and Dionysus, for his bachelor party.
I’ve selected this chapter because it is a pivotal chapter in the new book.

Download your copy here:
Bachelor Mysteries

Tis nearly the Season

Hello! Miles Herman, Here.

With the holidays coming up soon, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about how the experiences I have, being who I am, during the holiday season.

I love, I seriously love Yule. And that love starts with the day Americans call “Black Friday” and doesn’t stop until the New Year.

I get to weird people out. I get to have a huge amount of people worship me during Black Friday. I get tons of power during the annual rush to stand in line. I’m a god of travel.

The longer I keep people traveling, even if it is a really slow movement, the better I get ahead in the game of counting points. I love the whole world trying to solve how I get everything where it needs to be when it needs to be where it needs to be and addressed to the right people.

 

I can be everywhere, anywhere I want to be in a blink of an eye. I love how people work hard to catch me by eliminating chimneys. I love the number of open windows that become other options. The thing about that phrase about “closed doors and open windows” is that it isn’t about a happy opportunity for you guys, but is actually a warning about me. When I close a door, I leave a window available for my escape.

 

I’m a sneaky guy, always have been. It takes panache to talk your way out of stealing a herd of cows. It takes surprise to please a god with a dead animal skeleton and stretched out intestines by calling it a musical instrument. Hello, I even named it after myself, the Liar! (I still can’t believe Apollo bought it. Sucker.)

 

That same risky behaviour pays off in relatively the same way when you talk otherwis civilized societies into risking salmonella and ringworm by drinking raw eggs by calling it “nog” (Humans will actually buy anything) and serving boar heads as meals for the holiday. There is no animal that I have not talked you guys into eating, and no other time is it as obvious as the Holidays. Bee-vomit soaked pig-butt, raw egg and cow-sweat beverages, really just a marvel that you guys resisted longer.

 

But you guys want me to talk about how I love Yule. I used to love how people chopped down trees to make way for parking lots. I even like how people replant trees to keep Demeter happy. Not a fan of the plastic tree, it just doesn’t have the same ‘feeling’ as a real holiday. True, you cover the trees in lights, perhaps to make my father happy, but nothing is more amazing to me than to see how different, and how similar, every tree is every year.

 

I love the milk and cookies. Warm baked goods, left behind for me, and occasionally fruits and veggies for the reindeer are a special treat, and an appreciated payment from the children to me. Santa does prefer a good ol’ fashioned eggnog or a lager every now and again (I keep an elf on standby to help me fly).

 

Ever hear the phrase “there’s a god that looks out for children?” Yeah, that’s me.

I love children. Not in a “call the cops” sort of way, I’m not a pervert. The happy looks on their faces when they see my representations every year, they see my duplicates at the malls (Every single Mall Santa has a spark of me in him somewhere.) I love their candor, their bravery, the fearlessness of children. Children understand me, and I understand them.

 

And before it becomes a thing, no…Santa hunting is not cool. There is this guy in Texas, or wait, is he in Arizona…whatever, tell that guy to quit going Santa hunting. The whole game is ruined if someone sees us. Don’t follow his example, don’t try to catch me. Stay inside, drink nog and don’t try to watch me. It is a private thing I do and watching me while I am in the living room doing it is just creepy.

 

That is why I wear the Zeus mask. So people will leave me alone. I love what the new pictures of me look like. I would totally run a package store, but I would never use a thermos…not without the cup and the collectible lunchbox.. Because the cup and the box are part of the package.

 

I really love wrapping presents. That actually comes from a ritual to seal the box on all sides from evil. You are supposed to use shiny material to ward off the spirits. Hera designed it as a way to keep me from opening her anniversary presents.

 

I was young, foolish, not near as handsome, and thought the spirits inside the box were watching me. I had been fooled before by Argus, her manservant. So that is why you are supposed to seal the gifts in shiny paper with images: to confuse me. Now I do the same to keep kids out. If it worked on me, it could work on someone else.

 

My favorite worshippers are the ones who use unorthodox paper or work he whole year to make it special. There is this guy Georgia who saves the funny papers all year long so he can wrap the presents for the kids. That guy is going places. I made a going places joke because I am the god of going.

 

 

Wow, Tough Crowd!

There are people who theme together their trees. I love themed Christmases. I would like to see more of my followers help me in this tradition of making all the gifts work together. Just like random weird gods work best as a set of accessories, I approve of the Voltron idea…but I will form the head.

 

 

 

Best Books to Read interview

The great folks at Best Books to Read interviewed me!

 

It’s amazing to get such great press!

Note from the Author!

My Lady Olives is on KDP Select, and this week is on a Kindle Countdown deal!

This means that today and tomorrow, you can get my amazing book for only 99 Cents!

Then, it will be $1.99, and on the 26th it will return to it’s regular price of 2.99!

Also, I’ve been featured on TWO seperate websites:
I’m the Book of the Day today for the Author’s Corner (and they interviewed me, too!)

and I’m featured on the Digital Book Spot!

 

Exciting things are happening.

 

PLUS! I’m extending my review special.

Post a review on Goodreads, and I’ll send you a Smashwords coupon for the digital copy of Book Two once the book is released.

 

Phoebe’s Favorite Music

As you may have noticed from Arthur’s Favorites, the moon god has quite a dark taste to his music. That is not the case with Phoebe.
So, for your viewing and listening pleasure, Phoebe Thomas’s favorite music!

 

Note: all of these songs belong to the original copyright holders.  Reposted here out of love of music and a desire for readers to understand

Unlike her brother, who has favorite ‘bands,’ Phoebe is much more into songs and styles, acoustic especially.

Here area few songs Phoebe loves:

 

 

Arthur’s Favorite Music

Video

Here, for reference, are some of Arthur Thomas’s favorite bands.

Arthur likes his music a little dark, to fit those dark moods of his.

So, for your listening pleasure, music from some of Arthur’s favorite bands:

Note: all of these songs belong to the original copyright holders.  Reposted here out of love of music and a desire for readers to understand Arthur’s favorites

The Cruxshadows:

Winterborn (Subway to Sally Remix)

Deception:

Marilyn my Bitterness:

Bella Morte:

Fall No More:

Acoustic Live version:

Earth Angel (Cover)

 

Oneiroid Psychosis:

Birth and Death:

 

July 20, 1969

Today, Apollo 11 landed on the moon.

That’s right, you can stop laughing.
Those silly mortals decided to go to the moon, and named the mission to go there after the wrong god.

 

I watched today with my wife and son.

“Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.”

I held my breath.
And remembered words once whispered by the real Apollo:

After Strong-armed Zeus speaks to the Earth
Sun and Moon confused in birth...
He couldn’t remember the rest. Why would Zeus Speak to earth?

But it clicked. Niel ARMSTRONG, from the Eagle, the bird of my spiritual father.

It would not surprise me if Mr. Armstrong was Divine-blooded.

And I know now that the Twins are returning, though I’m clueless as to when and where.
But there is going to be something about the twins. .

 

 

Letter to Olisbeth from Vanessa Thomas (Book One spoilers)

Dear Olives,

 I hope you don’t mind me using the familiar name my daughter calls you, but my children talk so much about “Olives” that I can’t help but think of you by that name.

As you have probably already deduced, I am Vanessa Thomas, AJ and Phoebe’s mother, and I’m writing you because I know that you have made a positive impact in the life of both my children. For this, I want to thank you.

            You don’t know what it means to me to hear my daughter praise someone my son is in love with. I know the sort of girl he usually dates; vapid, brainless girls who give women bad reputations. For the longest time, I always thought that would be the only kind of girl my son loved. I understand that you are beautiful, charming, but mostly, brilliant. Thank Heavens!

            To hear my son talk of you reminds me of when I first met his father. He never talks to me about his girlfriends, but he told me that he’d “met a girl” early this semester and that she was “someone special.”
            I know you’ve only dated my son a couple of months, and I know young romances have a way of falling down the drain, but, if I am right, and I usually am about these things, my son loves you very much. He may not have told you yet, but I’m telling you. My son loves you.

            Take care of my son, Olives. Like most men, he has this rough outside. He tries to push people away, especially those he cares about. And, like most men, he’s more delicate than he appears.

            You may by now, have already looked through the contents of this care package with some confusion. I already know from long talks with my children that you love olives, so I thought I’d share one of my favorite brands with you. The sweets, well, what’s a care package without a few sweet treats? The Vitamins are because I want you to take care of your health. I hear that you have frequent headaches, and while these won’t take care of your head, they might help you otherwise. Sometimes, I’ve noticed that when my students have chronic illnesses they focus so hard on the chronic issue that they neglect their health in other areas. Take care of yourself.

 

 

The photograph is one that I adore of my children when they were three. One of these days I hope to show you the entire album (maybe you can come over during the Christmas Holidays?) That was a glorious day: AJ and Phoebe were making a sandcastle when Phoebe leaned over and bit Arthur on the arm. He dumped sand in her hair, and then they started laughing. That’s the way they fought as kids, one of them would do something, the other would instantly retaliate, and then all was forgiven.

 

The last thing in this package will be the most confusing, and I’m not even certain why I’ve packaged it except for the fact that I feel you need to have it. This ring belonged to my mother. My father gave it to her when they first got engaged, while they still lived in Greece, so I guess you could call it her engagement ring. They didn’t have a stone because the Greeks don’t often use stones in wedding rings. Mother wore this ring till the day she died, and willed it to me, with the instructions to give it to Arthur’s wife, should he ever find one. I know this is pre-emptive, but please consider it. Don’t wear it until you’re certain he’s the one you want.

 

With a mother’s love,

Vanessa Thomas

832-xxx-xxxx

PS: please call me if you decide to come visit at Christmastime, so I can arrange a ticket. I would also be more than happy to host your family in my home as well.

 

 

September, 1976

I always hate it when I have to bring someone to the Underworld, and this time was no exception.

Most of the time, Hades or one of his minions come to Earth to bring the dead to his realm, but today? It was my job, because this time, it was a goddess that passed away.

I’m a little too sad to talk about it, because Aphrodite was just so beautiful. What am I saying? She is always Beautiful.

Sorry, I meant Yvette. Yvette Bazin was beautiful. A French actress, model, and dancer.

Cut down in her prime; we were nearly same age. She was a few years older than me.

To be strangled in bed, so horrifically, by a mortal, by one’s mortal spouse? And to be discovered by her son? It’s terrible.

This is not the first god to pass away since I was reborn, but this one hurts the most. Yvette was my first love, and this is the most personal loss I’ve experienced.

When the mortal flesh fails, and the body dies, gods attend their own funerals. We always do it, it is almost like we must hear what our accomplishments were, from those who cared for us, before we forget the entirety of that mortal life. At the funerals, I find the gods spirits and escort them to a doorway to the underworld.

In my thirty-six years, I’ve seen four gods die: Demeter, Hephaestus, Iris and Nike (who was the only one who did not attend her own funeral). This death, Aphrodite’s, was the most difficult.  She was the only one I knew personally, the only one I didn’t have to pretend to know.

I found Yvette sitting next to her ten-year-old daughter. Her son, a college student named Julian, was delivering the Eulogy.

I always liked that kid.

When Yvette’s spirit saw me, smiled, and said six words, heard only to me.

Because no one else could see or hear her, not even her daughter Rochelle, whose hand she was holding.

“My mirror now belongs to Athena.” As I touched her spirit, to begin the journey, she and I vanished.

I … it was our trip to the underworld, something I can’t talk about.
But I found Yvette’s hand mirror in the glove compartment of my car this morning, and know that I need to give it to Athena, when she returns.

It seems Athena is returning.

And despite the sadness I feel at the loss of a dear friend and lover, I couldn’t be more excited if I tried.

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My Lady Olives

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